New Year, New Goals

So, following on from my previous posts I have been thinking about what type of things I may like to achieve this year. Its a new year and I need to do something that distracts from everything that happened last year.

So here is a list of things I would like to achieve. I am not saying I will achieve all if any of them, but it is stuff I can think about. We only have one life after all and we need to experience all of the things we want to in life. You never know when your time might be up.

So to start:

• Lose weight. I am not at a healthy weight at all and I would like to feel good about myself and wear what I want to wear. So I am going back to Slimming World on Wednesday. 
• Take up more physical fitness. I am going back to my regular weekly Zumba class and will start doing the school runs on foot rather than driving.
• Get myself a tattoo. I nave never had one but have always wanted to get one, just to say I have one and to experience it. So I am going to have a look at getting something small and discreet. The thing is with me is that I get fed up quickly so it would need to be in place that I'm not always going to easily see it. Something for me and my husband. :D
• Look for another job. At the moment I work within the local council and have been doing the same job for the past 12 years. It fits in well hours wise around the school runs and it is perfect for how flexible it is. I can book time off last minute if needed, which is ideal for if the boys are unwell and I need time off etc. But the job is a lot different to how it was when I first started. A lot of the people I started with have now left for another job or retired and I am not completely happy in the role anymore. If I can find something to fit perfectly time wise etc like this one then I would consider changing jobs, but I doubt it will be very forthcoming.
• Apply for Extras Work - Another thing that I have always wanted to experience is being in a television show. I used to dream of doing some sort of acting job but I have never fully had the confidence to do anything like that, but I have considered signing up for extras work so i can at least experience what it would be like on set, etc. I know it can be boring work, sitting there for hours waiting to be called (if you do get called) and then you may not get any air time depending on editing afterwards, but I would still like to give it a go. 
• Write a screenplay/book - Another ambition of mine since I was at college when I was a teenager was to write my own screenplay or book and have it published. Again, my confidence has always stopped me from aiming for it as I never feel like I would be good enough, but with everything that has happened the last couple of years then it just reinstates how short life can be. I don't want to regret anything in my life. 
• Take on more photography work - For the past 10 years I have ran my own photography business photographing weddings and children, etc. I always dreamed of having my own business and creating my own work and working my own hours, etc. Now that I have done that then I want to step away from that type of photography and have a go at something else. Maybe create a calendar, work for a newspaper or in the media. I appreciate it is a tough industry but I would like to just experience doing more with my photography. 
• Create more blog posts and look into making money from it - I will be honest, blogging is completely new to me. At the moment I am just getting used to writing my feelings down for all to see, but I am interested in finding more out about making money from it. I have had a go at vlogging and have created a couple of videos recently which centred on the loss I had. 
• Make more memories with my family - On the subject of feeling low in confidence, I also struggle to put myself in front of a camera as I don't like how I look. I want to change this, not for me...but for my boys. I don't want them to look back when they are older and struggle to find any photographs of me. So from this day forward I am going to take more selfies of me and my boys. I am going to make more memories for them despite how I look or feel. If I stick to losing weight and getting physically fit then I may eventually like how I look. 
• Make more time for my husband - As most parents can probably appreciate, once kids turn up then romance and all that jazz goes out of the window. Myself and my husband have been through some tough times the last two years. And I want us to get back to being loving and best friends. We go about our daily tasks and live day to day but we forget about just talking to one another. For example, right now....I am sat here writing on this blog whilst my husband sits a seat away from me watching Jimmy Carr Live on TV, we haven't spoken for the past 3 hours. We are comfortable with each others silence but we weren't always like that. I almost lost him last year and I want to get back to how we were....
• Read more books - I love books! I love reading and getting lost in a book. But I find that I haven't made as much time for it lately as I would like. I am going to concentrate on at least reading a new book each month. There are a ton of good reads which are on my mental itinerary, but I never seem to get round to making time for it. 
• Travel more - There are many places I want to visit, but again my confidence stops me from wanting to look as I may have to consider clothing options or worrying that people in other countries may not like me....I am hoping that by dealing with my confidence then I can feel less scared about getting myself out there. 
• BE MORE CONFIDENT - Having read through my previous 'to dos' you can see that I don't have much confidence or self assurance. I want to be better, I want to love myself. I am naturally bubbly and chatty but I feel like I am shading who I am as I worry what people may think of me and that's down to my weight and how I see myself. I must make this year about getting me to a point where I will be happy. 

EDITS - Points I would like to cover which I thought of AFTER I published this post.

• Drink more water - I could quite literally go through the day without drinking even a glass of water....and its not like I fill up on other liquids either. I don't like coffee or tea and only drink alcohol on occasion (except for quite recently as mentioned in a previous post) but I do tend to have a bit of an addiction to fizzy drinks , which I have to cut back on. I know they aren't good for me or my teeth, so I have made a conscious effort the last couple of days to drink at least 6 glasses of water in one day. I have stayed away from fizzy drinks and I managed 6 glasses yesterday and will get them in today too. I just have to remind myself to drink which is something I was out of the habit of doing. Unless it was a really hot day, etc then I didn't feel thirsty that often. So I am keen to change not only my eating habits but my drinking ones also. 
• Join a Drama Group - I remember wanting to take Drama as a study when I was at school but I gave up the idea when I was teased by other kids at school. Again, I let my confidence affect my decision. There is a part of me that has always wanted to join a group and perform productions, etc. I am 36 years old and often wonder whether I am too old to pursue hobbies like this but I am keen to not let any interests pass me by, so I am going to look at what local groups are near me. 
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• Do something for Charity - I would like to organise an event of some kind to raise money for a worthy cause. And I have always wanted to help out with the homeless, etc. 
• Look into redoing my GCSE's Maths and English - Before I was pregnant, I really wanted to train to be a midwife. It has been something I had considered for a while and I wanted to work within the NHS. The thought of helping women born they're babies really made me want to get onto a course. I attended a careers talk at the local college and they suggested me re-doing my GCSES so I could apply to get onto there access course. After losing the baby I have changed my mind about being a midwife, at least for the time being. I don't think I could deal with what I went through, I think it would kill me to help someone through a miscarriage. I know ultimately it would be something I would get used to....but until I am over what happened then I cant picture me doing that type of job. Maybe I will change my mind in a years time etc, who knows?
  
  What I do know is that I would like to redo my GCSES to give me a better chance of applying for higher education courses if I did change my mind.